I woke up today still angry about yesterday. I didn't want to do anything to make Keith think that everything was back to normal. But at the same time, I'm not very good at staying mad at him and he knows this.
I just felt that if I stayed mad it wasn't going to solve anything and would only make the matter worse. It would really serve no purpose but to put a wedge between Keith and myself. So holding on to my anger was not the road I wanted to go down but I was still mad and hurt.
So we talked.
I told him that I was angry and hurt. I didn't really have to say it he knew it but it felt better to say it. Then he told me that I should have felt that way because the way he acted was childish, stupid and pathetic. Which, of course, I have to agree with, full heartedly.
I told him that I don't even feel that I could appreciate all the work he did because of the way he did it and he completely agreed. He just hopes that eventually I will be able to appreciated it. Don't tell him but I all ready do. I mean, honestly, how can you not when you see all that he did? I mean really.
He did say that the only reason he did it by himself is because he choose to. No one left him to do by himself but his action caused him to have to do it by himself. I was happy he said that because I would have totally helped him if he didn't tell me to get the hell out of his way.
So in the end we are good and working together again. He didn't apologize and I didn't want him too. This wasn't something you really can apologize for you just have to admit that you were in the wrong and work on it in the future, which is what he did. So I'm good.
I still feel useless but that is an on going state of being for me not a momentary state.
All's good is Shelleigh land. No make up sex yet but I'm hopeful;)
Shel
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